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June 7, 2004
Mr. Williams,
I am unable to watch you as I do not live
in Massachusetts. However, I pay a
lot of attention to Wednesday's Child Segments online. My partner and
I are
adopting an older child from your state. I imagine that you must be
bombarded by letters and email every time the word "homosexual"
passes your
lips and I neither know nor care where you stand personally. However,
I was
disappointed to see the negative responses by John Reed and Michael
to your
statement of fact that gay and lesbian couples can adopt in Massachusetts.
All opinions should be valued, but where is the other side of this debate?
Religion is a complicated idea and it
always amazes me that many people who
claim to be humble followers can't help but presume to know better than
their Lord what types of people He wants on this planet. That being
said,
mine is not a religious argument.
My greatest hope for humanity is that
we will learn the importance of
knowing a person or group of people before judging. My best response
to
homophobic ignorance and the issue of gay and lesbian adoption is to
present
my own family.
First, I would like to explain to Mr.
Reed that all minorities in our
culture are labeled by what makes them different. We are labeled by
our
race, religion, handicaps and sexuality, but this is not what makes
up each
of our lives and personalities. True, I am a lesbian and sometimes this
is
how people think of me above anything else, but I am so much more than
this.
I am an educated American citizen, a veteran, a sister, a daughter and
even
a parent. Although I have been labeled because of the person I choose
to
love, what I do in private with her has very little to do with the person
I
am or even our own relationship and it is absolutely not anybody else's
business. If people chose to obsess about my sexuality, it is not because
I
flaunt it or discuss it with anyone.
As for homosexuality and parenthood, there
are some important reasons why
homosexuals are allowed and even encouraged to adopt. It is easy to
read a
Bible and interpret it to your own world and liking, but sometimes it
is
also important to look up and ask about the world of others. We all
know
that there are too many older kids waiting for homes and not enough
parents
waiting for older kids, but there is more than this to the need for
gay and
lesbian adoptive parents. Most children in foster care who are waiting
for
homes have experienced severe abuse and/or neglect. This may result
in
excessive fears or behavioral issues directed at only a father or mother
figure. Some children cannot be comfortable in a traditional family
and many
families are not interested in adopting a child who acts out sexually
or
violently toward one parent on a regular basis. Of course, all of these
children will need to learn to deal with the opposite sex, because we
are a
planet of males and females after all, but this emotional healing is
better
done from a home where the child feels safe.
I am one half of a two-mom home for a
little girl. Her needs are our highest
priority. Among her many needs are two parents who can provide her with
the
love and attention she has missed and a home without males, so that
she can
feel safe enough to fall asleep at night. A home like ours is what was
considered best for her and what she requested. Our child is loved,
safe,
and learning to be the happy little girl she deserves to be.
I could go on for hours, but I will leave
it at that.
Thank you for your work and your time,
Wendy
Wendy,
Thanks for your thoughtful response. The reason I put the letter on
the
website is to open a discussion with people. The reason for my response
being so short to the letter in question is the fact is: it is the law.
Hopefully we can move beyond this and concentrate on the important point:
getting loving families for children who have been through hell.
Jack
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